paint

We painted over my walls
They were yellow and stained
And the marker wouldn't come off
It was time for a fresh coat
Maybe white, or something light
They say a fresh coat is exciting
Even though over time
The old colors will bleed through
But at least for a time
It will allow for some new
Until the new becomes old
And then we'll need to paint again
Paint and paint and paint
It can never stay the same.

hotdogs + heroin

soaked in static

souls in soup

sink or swim

hotdogs and heroin

sugar for shame

aching in air

pills and pauses

sniffs for snakes

water with worcestershire

blinding for brightness

gashes with garnish

presents or pickaxe

kites in killing

charley on the ice

when charley soared across the ice

she wondered how it was tamed so nice

she thought it was too smooth

to be underneath heaven’s roof

glassy, it was almost clear

like a whistle in the ear

but this made no sense at all

with all the detritus of Fall

spinning this way and that

with the agility of a cat

charley didn’t like it one bit

this didn’t match the devil’s wit

she almost lost her breath

gulped the cold air and said

“this is no place for me, icy stream.

see, i’ve caught me in a dream.”

charley nearly escaped the white

except a slip and twisted ankle right

she lay upon the watery board

too solid in a liquid world

this was it, she bared down hard

waiting for fate’s jagged shard

when none came, she opened eyes

to see life’s most cruel blue skies

slippery

i’m a slippery soul

i take from here and there

i toss it in the hole

throw me a smoke

toking above the moat

high up on a tight rope

they told me to disown me

the black box is a constellation

and the spotlight is empty

they said bill never had it

jim, sally, and pete just in a phase

what about me? do i get a phase?

clouds are filling up the sky

the blue is swallowed up

where’s the sun? you’re asking why

you see, i feel the tug upon my chin

the poppies are closing in

will you listen, or will you not?

give me a reason and i’ll cave

you have one, idiot, i already gave

blight

there was a blight in the field

behind my dad’s house

now you can see across

and it’s colorless

when i think back to

what it was like before

i remember the dark green

in rain, and the wind shaking

it was so tall you

could almost lose yourself

and the bugs grew 10 sizes

bigger than even dad

what i would give to

grow it all back

but it’s not easy like that

things like that aren’t easy

i don’t know where

the bugs went, if they

even existed. hopefully,

blights are just a phase.

pigeon

one day, i thought i saw a flying man

when i looked back, it was just a pigeon

i realized, things might be bigger than they are

when someone makes a tear

it might be everyone’s

i stepped onto a rock,

and a million others stepped onto it, too

then, i put the rock under a microscope

and it looked like the moon.

box

As I walked to work one morning

I realized I am holding something

A box, between both my hands

I grasp it tight, tight as I can

I keep on walking, who knows why

Right, I have to go to work, at least try

But there is a burning question in my brain

What’s in the damn box, I am going insane

I think about dropping it, but no

Silly, I wouldn’t stoop so low

Wait, what’s silly about that at all?

I can’t say, maybe a friend I will call

He doesn’t know.

He says, just go.

I forget where I’m going, give me a clue?

Maybe inside the box I will find the truth

Who gave me this box, I can’t remember

There’s no return label, no return to sender

forms

Yesterday I was a rabbit

Hippity-hopping through the grass

I ate the celery if they had it

My legs were springy, bent + fast

Today I am a turtle

I like to rest and relax

Cocooning can be hurtful

But I want to cover my tracks

Tomorrow I’ll be a snake

Striking and sneaking in the trees

I’ll leave the rats in my wake

And cast my fears upon the seas

One day I’ll be an owl

Surveyor of the bugs + dirt

Drifting above the wind’s harsh howl

A being crossing the threshold of earth

If only I could be just one of these

And avoid the pain that changing takes

But none of these can run the race

Without the prior to pick up the pace

THE SPECK

a speck of my future

my future contained in a speck

what is coming?

worlds orbit me

and i gasp at their breadth

the possibilities held in a speck

can i smile wide enough?

beyond me, beyond us

a speck of worlds

manifestations of glory

a glimpse at truth

can i anticipate well enough?

no.

i will try.

the drum of life

a drum sounds

the drum of life

the first sign

it's coming

they gather

anticipating

they want to be a part of it

they are a part of it

they wonder at it

how could it be

why could it be

within a rhythm

their lives brought to a speck

a speck of glory

a sigh of longing

what does it herald

only just a multitude

and we wonder

how could we be a part of this?

why are we a part of this?

the perfect funeral – a recipe

this would be a funeral with lots of people

and everyone would raise their glasses

they would say hear! hear!

they would jump around

they would scream

because they know they only have one life

they would hold hands and cry

they would embrace each other

and feel the warmth of bodies on bodies

everyone would be very happy

and they would be very sad

there would be a lot of moaning

because every moment is precious

but you can’t hold them too dear

because every moment is fleeting

but every moment is one-of-a-kind

but nothing lasts

and yet maybe it will

no one would know

but we would all be together in that

the fact that no one knows

but also that we could have blind hope

and we would all try for that

to blindly hope in the moments

and over the course of time

maybe we would believe it

together, we could believe it

and together, we could be ok

even when we might hurt each other

even when we might say things

even when we might think things

we could still stand together

In that moment, and think

“we might all be ok”

“and that dead guy, maybe him too”

we could look at a small flower

we could think about it

we could feel our breaths together

and that would be enough

and then we would go home

written for a film festival submission that was rejected

see

I want people to see the world through my eyes
I want them to feel how I feel sometimes
To show them the beauty
To show them the sadness
I want to get these things out
Things I can't express
I don't know how
The trees
The sky
The small flowers
Heart ache
Love
A smile

Ive felt the evil of man
I know what it is to be evil and to want evil things
I've seen how a man can be evil

But again, i see the sun
And I see the tendrils of ice
I see the dog's hairs and the cat's purr
I see the green of the grass
How deep green it can be sometimes
And how easy it can be to not see that
To see someone crush the flower
It can be awful

I want to show it, I want us to see it
I don't know how i can do that
We all see different things
But I think there can be a time when we see
the same
When that will be I don't know
I only guess, and hope I will be there with
everyone

But for now,
I like to try and take a walk
Through the woods,
or even down my street.